Bellifer

Change.

2010-06-07T04:17:00.000-07:00

In a nutshell, I've been finding it hard to find the rights words to say.
I guess you can say that I'm going back to a more traditional method as my refuge, where every stroke encapsulates my feelings.

I've been at this blog since I was 15, almost 6 years now. Wow.
There were the good times, there were the bad. There were things I wished I talked about, times I wish I never went through.
Maybe I'll return, but in another totally different place, thats for sure. For now, I'm just a fleeting apparition. I'm still active in my twitter though :)

Pictures and food for thought before I disappear with fairy dust.

Where did the time go?

2010-05-05T17:24:00.000-07:00

Can't believe I lost track of time again. Its been days since I sat down and really pondered on whats going on in my life.

I think I'm starting to neglect myself.
Trouble sleeping. Missed meals. Exhaustion to the point that I don't even know if sometimes I faint strategically right on top of my pillow.

The most cherished part of the day is when I snuggle with my comforter and hide between that comfort of warmth and cold. And heck knows what goes on in my mind like a train ride before my brain shuts down for that 8 hours.

Perhaps this neglection has to do with feeling, and rather than feel, I just go through the days as if I'm set to auto. Maybe I should be a robot/tinman like that one in Wizard of Oz.

An old favourite crept to my mind a few days back and its been lingering around when I sit down, start looking at people and my brain just wanders off.
Coincidentally, Abby just posted the lyrics on her facebook. heh.

5 years back, Geoffery and I huddled over his desk as I scribbled the lyrics on a piece of paper. We then sipped our Pepsi Twists(huge fan over that drink back then) and pondered on the lyrics.
Today, I hold the same paper in my hands and I'm pondering on the lyrics again.

Detik-detik MH

2010-05-05T03:29:00.000-07:00

Remember a few posts back I posted about the film competition my friends and I entered (the whole fire thing)?

Well, we got into final 13!

Now, we are vying to get the People's Choice Award and I need all the support I can get! :)
All you gotta do is register for the first time, then log in everyday to vote for our video.
I would really appreciate it for your help!

Here's the link to our video.
http://mastraveller.com/detikMH/Video/10/

Thanks in advance!

Snuff it out.

2010-04-26T18:53:00.001-07:00

weird, but I like.
I'm not that obsessive though. lol

Oh dear..

2010-04-21T17:29:00.000-07:00

Oh dear, oh my. I woke up from a (almost) sleepless night to realizing that its already April. It was as if the thunder was punishing me for my crazy thoughts.

I still remember the days when I was just bracing myself for my last year in uni and now here I am, almost halfway through.

In give or take half a years' time, I'll be in another city with another life to lead. Hopefully I'll settle down in a quaint little place with my love then get a stable job in I-dont-know-what-field. Had a talk with a friend yesterday and it helped clear my doubts a bit.

I can't wait to be rid of some nonsensical things in my life and go on a ho-ho-holidayyy.
Somehow, I can't wait to turn 21 too :)

My mind's buried with so many things that I couldn't care less for those at heart.

And I got mine back.

Be strong this little grasshopper. I'll get through all this.

could happen, but no.

2010-04-20T21:50:00.001-07:00

" Desire runs deep in the blood of us humans. Whether it is for material things or emotional compliance, we all look for something to fill those empty spaces in our lives. And that is what a lot of people feed on - desire".

Thus runs a paragraph of my critical reflection essay. My brain decided to have a blockage of thoughts and strings of bullshit so I'm taking this little "break". 300 more words to go. Tick tick tock tock.

This week will be a long, tedious but happy week. Because all my sweethearts will be back :)

Yummy Wonka treats from her.

Her.

The Queen of Gone Case.

Went to the beach with the familia over the weekend.

Happy, happy times.
Skipping over waves. silent whispers to the vigorous winds. sticky salty fingers. sandy toes.

p/s: HARIS HO! Hahaha I know you're stalking my blog and you're wondering why I don't blog so often anymore. I dedicate this post to you lah! :P

You know I know.

2010-04-18T07:12:00.000-07:00

A path once so knowing and familiar just disintegrated into mere dust.
Shame.

If it will always be like this.

2010-04-14T07:28:00.000-07:00

Just some random pictures kept away in my phone.

One of those days when my bimboticness takes over and I can't even make a decent toast. My maid actually laughed at me. Hehe

Lost my appetite after finding this stray little thing on my favourite dish in one of the coffee shops in Senadin. Usually I'm okay with a little dirt on my food (eg. fell on the table cos I support the 5-seconds rule that way) but hair on my food.. really crosses the line. Ugh.

My current obsession with rings, bracelets and necklaces have escalated to a level I can't seem to understand. Luckily, my shopping has been on a standstill lately, what with all my time focused on other things than online shopping haha.

And by other things, I mean assignments and such. We(Julia, Jason and I) took part in the Detik-detik MH short film competition. We were planning to film it all in one afternoon but..

A fire took place two doors down from the place we were doing our shooting.

Right before a take,
Julia: Eh, I dont think we can take leh, I think they're doing fogging down the road.
Bel: Hmm, nolah where got fogging?
Actor Uncle: Nola, the people there are just burning some leaves.

So we carried on with our shooting. 5 minutes later, we heard shouts and the fire had already risen so high. We immediately stopped shooting to go over and see if there was anything we could help with. We also filmed some shots of the fire.

Back view from the house we were shooting in right before we all left. The wooden house, which had 20 people living in it were left homeless that day.

But luckily, nobody was hurt and the people in the house realized the fire and escaped in the nick of time. As for our shooting, we postponed in to a few days later and finally finished everything up in an hour or so before sunset. Here's the blog for the Detik-detik MH competition.

Despite the busy schedule, I've been taking time to spend some quality time with myself. Which also means indulging in random cravings that I have. Picture above taken half an hour ago, when I drove my sister and I to Miri Cafe to have some chocolate mousse and tried the camembert cheese deep fried in breadcrumbs, with cranberry sauce. Yum, but it was a tad expensive.

I can happily say.. Life's treating me good right now.
To more days like these to come. :)

My take on life.

2010-03-31T03:20:00.000-07:00

“I must learn to love the fool in me-the one who feels too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me from that utterly self-controlled masterful tyrant, whom I also bore and who would rob me of my human aliveness, humility, and dignity, but for my fool.”

- T.I Rubin.

Sometimes I take myself and the things I do too seriously. Its because of the expectations that I face that have pushed me to feel so, but little by little, day by day, I learn that the only person I need to make happy is indeed, myself.

And I also to remind myself that there are always going to be people swimming around the dimensions of my life, making decisions that would touch me and making decisions that would break me. Then there's also those who'd just make decisions as if the world goes around them and it'll be extremely stupid.

Then I'll just laugh things off, because life isn't supposed to be so uptight.

Through it all..

2010-03-29T06:43:00.000-07:00

I love being held. I love when I am in someones arms, and I know that they would do anything for me. yea, I know its selfish but that is what I love. I love waking up to someone and smiling and having them smile back. When you are cold, and you are sharing a blanket and you have their sweatshirt on. your hair is all a mess and your breath smells and you nuzzle up to their neck and they nuzzle you back and wrap their arms around you. and you smile. And fall right back asleep.

I love walking into a room and he smiles back at you, you work your way over, making googiley eyes just for fun until you reach him, and then he wraps you in a big hug and you say hi and act like you haven’t seen each other in ages. That is a great feeling.

Feeling the rush of his lips trail down your body, covering every spot of skin. Giving in to him, giving him what you both want. Feeling like one. Knowing your love will not fade. Knowing giving him that will make him keep you forever, just as you want.

The happy moments, the secret smiles. Going out with his family and saying something they don’t get, but he gives me that look that tells me he got it and he found it funny. Him telling me how beautiful I am in front of his family. Them looking at us and seeing how much we adore each other. The feeling of pride when his mom tells me she is happy her son has found someone so worth his love.

The tears after a big fight. And then him rushing over to dry them with kisses, not being able to sleep until he knows I am better.

The silent way people drift apart, the way the secret smiles fade. The fights end in crying with no one to hold you. the way your world seems to collapse, but you know this isn’t the way its supposed to be.

YELLING AT HIM TO FIX IT. even though you know you did more damage than he did.

After the break up, the feeling of betray as you look at another guy. Knowing you shouldn’t be looking, you don’t belong to them. knowing he still doesn’t look at anyone but you.

When you hang out, the way his eyes watch yours,the way they say sorry, the way you know he wants to kiss you and make all the pain go away. Trying your hardest not to cry because he refuses to become a couple together.

Being completely in love with him. and him with you.

Being best friends.

Him thinking he is not good enough, so he wants you to find someone that is.

You refusing to find someone else because you want him.

The complications. The tears. The heartache.

The feeling of love through it all.
-J

- via lelove

One day at a time..

2010-03-29T05:32:00.000-07:00

So I've been having people asking me why I have not been updating..
Cos I'm just too busy! Haha, but now its the 2 week holidays that we're having but everyone is complaining that eventhough we don't have classes, we're still pulled down by so many assignments and stuff.

I'm so stressed about certain things its not even funny. There's assignments, there's events, there's the MAS film competition, there's saving up for everything that I want! As someone I know puts it, "Gotta set things in motion!"

So I'm pretty much doing that right now so I would really prefer if there's no unnecessary drama for my final year please :)

Came across this video featuring this singer from Phillipines which I thought was pretty awesome. The first time I noticed her was when she sang on Oprah and it literally blew me away, goosebumps and all. Here's the video.

And this is the one I just listened to online.
Is your love like a pyramid?

"And every step we took we've grown
Look how fast the time has flown
A journey to a place unknown "

- Pyramid, by Charice

Wachaaaaa

2010-03-21T04:16:00.000-07:00

My life is so full of leaps I think I better start keeping track of them. Lol

Short short one.

2010-03-19T03:20:00.000-07:00

I guess all I've been doing with the camera is snap snap snap and I won't even bother if I upload it or not. So I took a flip back at what the camera took and well.. Let's just say, some pictures are moments captured in life that won't be repeated anymore.

Here's a picture of the full moon during Chap Goh Meh.

I went to the beach with Sonia, Florence and Flora :)

And last weekend, I was at the beach(again) for the Social Interests' Welcoming Party. It was pretty successful, I must say.

Thought the sunset would make me feel better. It did, for a bit. Then I drove home alone and everything caught up with me again.

Breathe.

2010-03-16T21:21:00.000-07:00

“Shadows are falling and I’m running out of breath
Keep me in your heart for a while
If I leave you it doesn’t mean I love you any less
Keep me in your heart for a while”

Glitter in the air.

2010-03-16T06:56:00.000-07:00

I think I've been so caught up with everything that the only time I get to just sit back and chill is when I'm driving and I'm singing along to the radio. I still marvel at how the right song always comes on at the right time. Today I'm feeling Pink.

Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?
Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it
Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face
And said I just don't care?

It's only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn
The thunder before lightning, the breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

It's only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table, the walk before the run
The breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames
Have you ever felt this way?

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee, calling me sugar
You called me sugar

Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself
Will it ever get better than tonight? Tonight..

You and I both.

2010-03-13T05:30:00.000-08:00

Let's get familiar. I'll sit next you and I'll feel your cold fingers around mine. I'll listen to you and I'll drink you in. We'll listen to the harmonies of the deafening silence and our heartbeats like thunders against a clear morning. I'll lie down and you do the same. With half-shut eyes, I tell you my dreams. Harsh whispers of my plans and giggles about my downfalls. You'd listen and you won't say a thing. My fingers are numb from gripping too tightly unto yours. You get up to leave. I don't stop you. Because your presence lingers, in my mind, the tips of my fingers. Just you and I.

I'm gonna sleep well tonight.
And I'll see you again tomorrow night.

So you sail away..

2010-03-11T17:01:00.000-08:00

ayesha-icha:

Kat: How can anyone be afraid of love?
Acheron: How can they not? When you love someone… truly love them, friend or lover, you lay your heart open to them. You give them a part of yourself that you give to no one else, and you let them inside a part of you that only they can hurt-you literally hand them the razor with a map of where to cut deepest and most painfully on your heart and soul. And when they do strike, it’s crippling-like having your heart carved out. It leaves you naked and exposed, wondering what you did to make them want to hurt you so badly when all you did was love them. What is so wrong with you that no one can keep faith with you? That no one can love you? To have it happen once is bad enough… but to have it repeated? Who in their right mind would not be terrified of that?

Got this from Sera's blog.

It's like I don't even have to try.

2010-03-09T05:41:00.000-08:00

I miss you..

These blur lines.

2010-03-08T06:02:00.000-08:00

Been bogged down by so much stuff I hardly have time to care about anything else. I promised myself I'll distract myself more this semester but I never expected myself to be knocked down this hard. Then again, I'm sure there's a purpose for all I'm overcoming. I hope.

I stand alone in the storm (listen listen)
Suddenly sweet words take hold
(Listen listen)
Hurry they stay for you haven't much time
Open your eyes to the love around you
You may feel you're alone
But I'm here still with you
You can do what you dream
Just remember to listen to the rain

Not something I usually listen to but its a calming song.

So mote it'll be.

2010-02-26T03:24:00.000-08:00

"Show me now what I should see,
What was past or what will be,
The stream of time will start to slow,
Show me where I need to go.."

Dongdelongdongqiang.

2010-02-22T05:24:00.000-08:00

It usually takes about 6 hours to drive back to the hometown, Sibu. But we do it without fail every year. We try our best to go through all that bumpy rides because its the only time of the year everyone gets to see everyone.

It was just the breather I needed :)

There's something about lantern-illuminated houses that emits a sense of solitude. For me, at least! Hahaha

The sister (the one with the long hair in the baby picture) who came back from Singapore to spend a few days with us. People always mistake me for the elder one :/

Something that is inevitable about Chinese New Year is the endless supply of good food.
Every house has their own "special recipes", "something they bought from Taiwan, Bangkok, England etc etc", you get the idea. I tried my best to just munch munch on oranges the whole time.

We all wore purple on the first day. I wore the purple toga top I bought from BlissfullyBeautiful, which I love.

The younger sister celebrated her 14th birthday on the 14th February, which was also Valentine's day and the first day of Chinese New Year. All our close relatives came over our place for a small party to celebrate for her.

CNY this year was pretty bland for me. We used to go visiting with such vigor that seemed sort of missing this year. Angpau collections were pretty low too hehe.

Rest of the pictures will be up on Facebook.

"I'm lifting, I'm lifting!"

2010-02-22T03:39:00.001-08:00

How cute :)

Another revelation.

2010-02-19T19:35:00.000-08:00

You know how like, in fights, them physical ones, the attacker always goes back to a stance before they start attacking their opponent again?

Yeah, like this. Thanks, Bruce Lee.

So, thats me for now. At least that's what I'm doing.
Back to square one, finding me.
Along the years, I've morphed into someone I cannot even recognize anymore. I question myself again and again why I do the things I do, for whom?

And its a sad thing. Because I've become the person I've always never wanted to become. You know, the one where you go "Eee, I hope I never become like that."
Predictable and weak.

Have to remember, always giving your all doesn't necessarily mean you are making the right decisions.

Rewind and refocus. To be that hard nut to crack, again. For me.

You're gonna get what you asked for, and so so much more.
Perhaps one day it'll burn painfully in your chest with realization, to see what you've lost in me today. She might not come back anymore.

Recite. Repeat. Repeat again.

2010-02-18T22:09:00.000-08:00

No going back.

2010-02-18T05:41:00.000-08:00

For the way you're something that i never choose,
but at the same time something i don't wanna lose,
and never wanna be without ever again..

Remember this reminder.

2010-02-12T06:22:00.001-08:00

Remember: Warm heart. Cold mind.

Times like these I feel like plunging into a deep abyss somewhere and just disappear. My mind's clouded by an immense sense of.. lost. Some call it a identity crisis. I don't know what it is.

I've had regrets in life and I've made mistakes along the way, but those wrongs have never made me less of a person that I was, am and will be. I've always come down to the conclusion that whatever comes my way, I take it as it is. No sort of that reaching out for the stars and maybe I'll fall among the clouds bullshit.

Many times I pull myself down before letting what my heart tells me to do. I give and give, never asking for anything in return. Be numb and look away. That's how it is now. A vicious cycle, that happens more than I want it to.

Times have changed and my mentality has as well, but.. only a little. And deep inside I know, I still feel the same.

Problem is, when will this facade break?

I shall stop before I say things I don't really mean.
Hopefully the time spent among relatives at the hometown for the next few days will subdue this torrent of thoughts to a silent hush. This too, shall pass.

Hopefully.

Guess who's gonna be back?

2010-02-10T18:24:00.000-08:00

Hint: the one with longer hair. Hahaha :)

Excerpt

2010-02-09T20:22:00.000-08:00

A tiny extract from The Shadow of the Wind, where I stopped last night:

"Why are you asking me this, Fermin? I thought you didn't believe in marriage and families. The yoke and all that, remember?"
Fermin nodded. "Look, all that's for amateurs. Marriage and family are only what we make of them. Without that they're just a nest hypocrisy. Garbage and empty words. But if there is real love, the sort you don't go around telling everyone about, the sort that is felt and lived..."
"You're a changed man, Fermin."
"I am. Bernarda has made me want to be a better man."
"How's that?"
"So that I can deserve her. You cannot understand such things right now, because you're young. But in good time you'll see that sometimes what matters isn't what one gives but what one gives up... "

When I read that, I had a tug in my chest telling me I know exactly what he's talking about.
I put my bookmark, sighed and went to sleep.

Reunited, and it feels so good.

2010-02-08T23:21:00.000-08:00

So I went to KL for a short supposed shopping trip with my mother and my cousin.
Warning: Photo-heavy post ahead, especially food. hehe

We flew to KL on Tuesday morning and reached about 12pm.

My companion during the long flights and bus rides. Its a good read, my daddy recommended it to me.

We wasted no time and went shopping right away, which is the usual ritual when it comes to KL.

All I cared about was meeting the boyfriend that very same night. It was pretty awkward when we first met, it was like seeing each other for the first time again. I'd have to admit, my heart was beating really hard and had butterflies in my tummy :P

Cousin, who booked her tickets to travel with us last minute. Hohoho, her shopping was more productive than mine. She even bought stuff for every member in her family.

During the whole trip, I only bought a bag, a clutch, a pair of heels, some shirts and thats it. Spent mostly on food. Its as if I cut my usual shopping craze by 3/4!

I love the decorations KL has for any celebration possible. Makes it very festive and vibrant, I felt like jumping around happily going "dong dolong dong qiang"!

Baby and I!

The last time we saw each other was in November. We tried to have this "lets-not-mms-pics-of-each-other" so it'll be more.. strangerish when we see each other (in case we changed eg. lost weight, etc). Haha I have no idea how we came up with that but it failed!

Thanks to facebook and all that, we kept knewing we looked like from time to time.

/cues Jaws theme song.

Oh noz is that a bald spot on my head?!?!?! Hahahaha wtf. Ok nolah, must be just the lighting.

If you see a lot of pictures of me in the post, thats cos baby was holding on to the camera a lot. I bought a clutch (angpau-size appropriate! :P) and while at the counter, the girl told baby "Sorry, no pictures allowed" and he'd already took about 20 in the store. Lol

All we did was eat, eat, eat! Grabbing a bite at TGIF's. My first time there :)

I had a the deep fried MacnCheese thing while baby had the Jack Daniel's burger.
A while later, Chin Chin came to meet us up!

Gorgeous and I :) Can't wait for her and Adrienne's graduation ceremony. I miss how crazy we all used to be!

Then, my cousin David treated us to a buffet at Shogun.

The creme de la creme of Japanese food, green tea ice cream! I could live on this alone!
On a different note, I just found out that ice-cream is like poisonous to my blood type. (AB, if you're wondering)

We all met, Momo Lee. My cousin David's ShihTzu. So cute!

That night, baby took me to this little place in the corner of Alor Street.

We sat on the rooftop, me with my milkshake, him with his beer. We could see the stars, the bright moon and there was live jazz music. It was.. breathtaking. Pictures and words fail to describe the ambience, how I felt, how serene it was.

It was, to me.. our most romantic date ever :)

We moved in to Cititel at Midvalley on our last day.

Arrrrribaaa! Lol

Nachos and the I forgot. Haha I don't know how some of you remember all the names of the stuff you eat. Especially all those famous bloggers. Its like they can tell you in details, right to the correct spelling. Sometimes, I wonder if they write it down in a notebook and stuff.

The novelty of leaving the next day was kinda sinking in. I was feeling a bit down but I tried not to let it show. Baby took me to Alexis for some cake and I cheered up a bit hehe.

Those who know me well would know my confirmation name is Alexis :) so I love the place even more for that!

The Caramel something tart.

Fruit Pavlova.

And the to-die-for Tiramisu.

No more pictures after this because I didn't bother taking out my camera. I just wanted to bask in the moment with the boyfriend.. spending time together, just talking..

I know I sound all sappy and tearful about everything. But once you get into a long-distance-relationship, and you see each other for a few days before separating for a few months again, you'd get what I mean. It takes a lot of me, to tell the truth.

And it was back to Miri for me.
Can't wait to see him in March..

I'm not lazy.

2010-01-27T21:36:00.000-08:00

Been cooped up at home cowering over the lappy, emerging myself with endless series. Just finished Nip/Tuck Season 7 :P

Backtrack: Had a small reunion with some high school mates.. uh, a few weeks ago.

Angela, :) , SiewFung and Carol.

ChungZeng, Haris and John.

We ended up having drinks, trying to talk over the loud music, and played some IQ game this Terry and his friend had. Left us all frustrated and laughing.

My, haven't we all changed? :)

Shopping (walking for me) with the cousins.

My idea of a perfect breakfast/lunch/brunch at home.

Mum turned 49. Durian cheese cake yum XD

Taking a leap.

2010-01-14T20:23:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we fall down and can't get back up
we're hiding behind skin that's too tough
how come we don't say I love you enough
till it's to late, it's not too late

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
we could make a feast from these crumbs
and we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
so if your life flashed before you
what would you wish you would've done

Tossing and turning in bed one sleepless night, I lamented on how I truly missed those times when life wasn't defined by the achievements we have in life. How life was purely based on going through it, without collapsing in between, getting up and going through it again.

Then again, what do you do when you plummet head on, looking in the eye of reality and you're forced to make choices that never crossed you mind? I guess I'm on that border now. Life subjugates people and in my case, it might just eat me up alive.

How I'm going to miss the simple life.

Hmm.

2010-01-11T20:43:00.000-08:00

"It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses...."

"It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain...."

-Neil Gaiman.

Finale

2010-01-11T01:18:00.000-08:00

We reached our hotel in Semporna by early evening so we checked into our hotel right away.

All the rooms are above the water, which was quite a pleasant experience. Hehe, have always read and saw pictures of water chalets in Maldives and Mauritius. This wasn't quite up to that standard of course, but it was quite different to be taking a shower in a cubicle right on top of the sea.

Having made prior arrangements for our trip to the islands, we had our light breakfast and made our way to Big John's (where we hired our boat). After finding different alternatives, we settled for Mabul and Kapalai. Sipadan island was out of the question because it was all over booked and the trip there alone per person was waaayy out of our budget. Perhaps, next time with proper planning.

The boat ride took an hour or so to reach Mabul, and the views were breathtaking.
Our boatman took us to this lodging area for Big John's but we were only there for the day.

People staying there. See the little girl climbing up the little stairs? Haha she was swimming around like nobody's business and when she went back to her house, her mum started chasing her around and shouting. Probably cos she wasn't helping with the chores or something.

Awesome clear waters..

Ah bui swimming there!

The lodging area was a bit far out from the shores, so the waters were really clear. But as we made our way to visit the village inside, the waters got dirtier. And amidst all that clear water, were rubbish, cans and all sorts of stuff. Its saddening to see how they take what they have for granted. Then again, don't we all? Lol

The people there are all a friendly bunch. The children playing around never fail to say hi, smile or wave. The weather was scorching though.

Then, it was off to snorkelling! Pictures were from snorkelling in Kapalai island cos I was too busy snorkelling. Haha and my mum was behind the camera cos she chickened out after seeing the rough waves.

Thing about snorkelling during rough waves is that you're snorkelling slowly. But when you come up for a rest, you'd find that you were sooo far away from the initial spot you started. So many times I tried to point out something to Tina. By the time she swam over, we were already somewhere else. Haha

I reckon I look like a Nemo in this picture. Hahaha

After the trip to the islands, which was quite eventful but long story. We went back, packed up and left for Tawau. And how could we leave KK without a proper seafood feast?

OM NOM NOM!

I left Tawau with a happy tummy.

So that pretty much sums up my trip to KK. I'm super tanned from the trip but my face is still the same. GAH to uneven skintone! I'd definitely go back there to visit more of the islands and climb Mt. Kinabalu!

Part 2.

2010-01-09T01:43:00.000-08:00

So, the bus trip from KK to Sandakan had me permanently scarred. Haha, being the "clever" one, I thought I'd not eat before the trip, lest I get tummy aches during the bus trip and would therefore, resort to using the bus toilet. I puked so many times despite trying to sleep the nauseating feelings away.

Me: Daddy, please pass me a cookie. I need a bite, quick.
Daddy: Oh okay.. *passes cookie..
Me: *takes a bite and pokes my dad * Uhh daddy, take it back quick take it back.
Daddy: ha? why?
Me: *vomits into plastic bag.
Daddy: HAHAHAHAHA *finishes the cookie in one gulp.*

He insists that its part of the experience -_-"

6 hours later, butt cramps and all, my dad's friend picked us up from the bus station. We went to this Chinese water village for lunch. According to my dad's friend, this was the first Chinese settlement in Sandakan.

Hehe I was wondering if a fish actually jumped up from the waters to make this bite mark.
We stayed at a small hotel for the night.

We went to the Crocodile farm..

Hahaha this crocodile was so cute cos it was born without a tail. I wonder how he tried to get attention of female crocodiles :P So kentot!

While I was taking of this, my mum quickly pointed to this other spot..

and found this two having a rendezvous of their own. Lol, how sweet.

Show you my pigu.

Haaha I'm smiling but I was actually terrified. I was shocked to see all the kids grabbing the snakes around, going all "Encik, saya mau ambil!" as if the snakes wouldn't react. Haha

We also got to to see the orangutans.

Apparently you can adopt one now.

More rides to get to our primary destination. My camera pouch flew out of the window cos the van was going way too fast. Luckily, there were awesome mountainscapes to distract myself.

Then it was off to Semporna!

KK vacay

2010-01-04T22:06:00.000-08:00

Our trip to KK was pretty short, but I had a feeling time was going pretty slow when we were there. I did pretty kickass shopping as well haha, which felt awesome.

We stayed at Promenade Apartment, which was a stone's throw from Promenade Hotel.

It was good, for the price we paid for a family room. Plus, McD was just downstairs and Center Point was right opposite. Haha

Hehe, rainbows make me happy!

Center Point contributed a huge lot to my broke state now. I bought a lot of basic tops, not so much of dresses or jeans. Just a lot of tops I'd wear for the coming semester in campus. I might just tone it down for my KL trip a month from now. Tina and I spend a few hours there and went back to our apartment, that was among the shophouses , which some people find dodgy.

Speaking of dodgy, my sister and I were walking to past McD when one of the taxi drivers winked and made a kissy face at her. Disgusting.

My dad forbad us to go out alone when he went to pick mum up from the airport. But we were sooooo fungry that I secretly went to buy McD alone, despite the possibility of getting a good lecture from my dad if he found out.

Imagine my horror when they came back and we haven't finished eating! Luckily he didn't say much, but he did steal my curly fries. Haha

We walked by the pier, looking out for places we could spend our Xmas dinner for the next day.
Saw JJ but he was eating so I didn't kacau him.

There were a row of shophouses nearby with all the branded goods..

and amazingly.. I bought nothing.

Did stop by at Sasa though. My mum and I spent so much the salesgirl gave us a rose each.

Which surprisingly didn't start dying after a week later.

One Borneo the next day..

which ended up unfruitful. Gosh, I guess I'm not so much of a brandwhore than I thought. lol

We went to Stella Maris for the Xmas eve mass and I met Joanne while waiting for our ride.

Then, it was back to the pier for our Xmas dinner.

It was in this Japanese restaurant/bistro.

Before I got red. Hahaha

So we were in a bistro, eating Japanese, listening to Phillipino singers singing Christmas songs. Which was pretty weird but we had fun.

After the countdown, the owner told everyone "Turn on the lights of your glass.. and you'll get your free shot!", to which I quickly did. I got 2 shots of whiskey but liquor ain't my thing so I only had one. Haha without doubt, I turned beet red after that and my parents just laughed at me.

My mum was pretty tipsy that night lol. She was giggling to herself so much.
We went back about 2.30am and had 3 hours of sleep before our bus ride to Sandakan.

Oh heavens.

2010-01-01T06:32:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I have to dig deep within myself, to muster out the explanation that I'm just human.. with a lot of thoughts and lots of questions. That, and the fact that I play through everything in my mind with a huge dose of my own astounding, explorative imagination. Bugger is the word I'd use to describe myself now thanks.

Last night.

2010-01-01T00:42:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year's!

Don't I sound all emo and intellectual in the last post? Hahaha. Anyways, thing about celebrations or days like NYE, xmas, the family always wants to celebrate it together. Since I might not be spending days like such with them in the next few years to come, thought I'd oblige.

We went to have a simple buffet at the Seahorse Bistro by Tanjung. The food was good, enough to keep me happy. Not much selections but of course, for the price we paid, it was sufficient.

I ate so much and too much that I got heartburn after that.

Sonia and Sanshan picked me up around 1030pm from home and we headed over to Island.

I didn't have much a drink, only a glass of Midori.
There were a lot of people. We had a tough time looking for seats at first.

Joanne, Sanshan and I.

Attempt to put us all the in the photo FAIL! haha, you can see my fringe and my eyelash though.
We just spend the night talking/gossiping amidst the loud music. The countdown was -_- we didn't even hear the numbers properly called out. Then it rained. Haha

I would say it was an awkward countdown.
Last year, I went dancing with the bf and played glowsticks in my dark living room half tipsy. XD
Then again, the company this year was great. Like Sonia said, "better than staying in".

All smiles.

2009-12-31T00:41:00.000-08:00

"Nobody Told Me"

Looking back in my childhood
wasn't too bad but it wasn't that great
I carried the luggage like a bag of bricks
feels like it's holding me down again
starring down a pitch black road
painted lines show me the direction
sun is burning on my face
sun is setting me on fire

Nobody told me where to go
Nobody told me where to run

I can't find my way back home
lost my head down there some where
could we just be gone alone
lived in doubt of fear i've shown
gazing down a long gray road
I see the stop sign way ahead
the sun is burning on my face
the sun is setting me on fire

Nobody told me where to go
Nobody told me where to run
Nobody told me where to go
Nobody told me where to run
Nobody told me, Nobody told me

Same old shit different day
gotta get up, gotta get up

[-Puddle of Mudd]

Growing up, I tend to wish for a lot of things I knew I would never get. Acceptance, freedom, a life with no barrier for me to truly be myself and be happy. Don't get me wrong. I live a life with things others might have to live without. Besides, without all the restrictions that withheld me or all those screwed up moments I've gone through , it wouldn't have moulded me to be the person I am today. So as weird as it may sound.. I am grateful for all that has happened :)

Over the past year, I've gotten mad. I've lost friends. I've lost my phone. I've discovered dark (and sometimes it gets worse) secrets about people in my life. Most of the time, I just ignore it, although it may come off as beguilement at other times..

Sometimes, I think I will no more experience anything that will quite make me speechless or knock me off again - but duh, I'm always wrong.

So yes, I'm tired of making goals that will get me in trouble. I live life for me this year and by the end of it, one ultimate goal will already be achieved ;)

So no revelations, no resolutions.

The sun will rise and set, the moon and stars will glimmer in the dark skies, the clouds will keep floating by..
I'll just.. sit back. And enjoy the view.

Happy New Year, all :)

Hear ye', hear ye!

2009-12-30T00:45:00.001-08:00

Hello, this is me blogging from the new template. Ain't it purrrrty?

So, as you can see from the navigation bar, I kinda lost all my links. Which is okay with me, cos I wanted to declutter my mess of links anyways. And I know a few of you do stop by my blog once in a while ( I have the feed thingy okehs ). So tell me if you wanna be linked! Otherwise, uh. yeah.

Meow!

According to..

2009-12-29T21:56:00.000-08:00

Dalai Lama's 18 Rules of Living.

Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
Follow the three Rs:
- Respect for self
- Respect for others
- Responsibility for all your actions.
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
Spend some time alone every day.
Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
Be gentle with the earth.
. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

(taken from twentyfourcarat.net)

I'll keep this in mind for the coming new year :)

Meet, greet, eat.

2009-12-21T20:03:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend, I met up with some friends for high school for a mini-reunion. After a yumcha session to talk about where we would have the dinner, we ended up at Siamese Secrets. The only downfall was that so many people weren't around, some people did not respond to the Facebook invites. Luckily, the ones who did go made it super worthwhile.

After dinner, we went to Al Fresco for drinks. Met some other high school friends there too! A friend said she couldn't recognise me lol.

Its funny to see how everyone has changed, yet we could maintain the friendship we had nurtured back in high school. One got married, one investing his own business and so forth. I was known as the girl they're surprised at for being in a relationship for almost 3 years now. Maybe because when I was in Form 5, I told everyone I'd sleep with everyone when I got into uni. Hahaha wth.

Now I'll bore you with pictures of the beach.

Haven't been there in a loooooong time. So we made a trip there yesterday. The sunset was mesmerizing and I loved the sight, the smell, the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks. Bliss.. :)

Took a picture of the Christmas tree at Daphne's place..

Will be heading to KK tomorrow, and I have yet to pack. Hopefully 5 days of fun in the sun will kick me away from the mundanity of the holidays.

In advance, Merry Christmas! :)

Sweet-toothy

2009-12-20T19:34:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to think that my holidays are basically filled with more and more bakapades. I remember mentioning that I should have a whole folder of it haha. I'm more of a chocolate addict so some of you might have realised that everything I baked have one thing in common: chocolate.

Attempted to make chocolate sheet cake last week.
I have a tendency to incline towards unhealthy, sugary treats every week hehe.

Mix, mix, mix.

Ah yes, i am famous for my chicken feet.

Nom nom nom!

My bestie and I pampering our skins! The range from Kose is pretty good, what with the gel scrub that exfoliates all the gunk from our face, then with a mask to brighten the skin. I'm not quite the person to hop about for skincare but if you have lotsa whiteheads/blackheads like me (or everyone else), you should give it a try. Already considering to test it on the boyfriend when he comes back :D

Indian food for lunch on I forgot which day.

Met Daphne's boyfriend, Marcus for the first time. We share the same surname! Shall not dwell on the possibility that we might be distant relatives. hahaha yes Daph, you can proceed to steal this picture :P

Oh, and I cut her hair too!

More like a trim, but its less splitty-end now.

Holidays redefined.

2009-12-10T23:13:00.000-08:00

I've been cooped up at home mostly these days. Tried to infuse some beneficial activities (!!) in between so I don't feel a loner. All activities which include spending time with the people I love :)

Brownie cupcakes, cos we couldn't find the cake pan. hehe. Turned out awesome, the crusty tops were to dieeeeeee for!

For comparison purposes. HAHA

Lovely RICO! Rico seldom goes near me but the other day when I went over, I had my period, so he started following me around like he worshipped me. Hahaha, but the moment was shortlived. This cute little boy knows how to wind down the windows in the car!

I got my results just 2 days ago. I passed all la, but 3 out of 4 were darn disappointing. Not to mention infuriating cos I know I put in the effort. Funny how I loved Mass Comm for their assignment-based only feature, yet its what pulled me down. Didn't even matter if I got a distinction for my other unit. roar.

我不甘愿!

Santa hohoho!

2009-12-06T06:18:00.000-08:00

So someone told me that his friend would be sending "bakgua" to my house and I was gonna help him send it to his family. Instead.. I got this.

My first Lomo baby! :))))))))))
Can't stop smiling to myself.

Thankyouiloveyou, baby!

Lost in my own time.

2009-12-03T19:01:00.000-08:00

The past few weeks have been such a blur. Without realising it, time has passed since my exam and approximately 6 days from now, results would be out. I have been to the airport for about more than 6 times this past month, it has been quite the bittersweet place for me hehe. My sister left for Singapore this morning.

I haven't been spending much time with the best friend but we did hang out a bit when sayang was back. We went over to her place after dinner and made egg tarts!

Doesn't she look adorable in her apron? Haha

Fresh from the oven. :)

During this holiday, I'm also Amanda's babysitter of her two babies.

:P

Too cute! Can't resist..

During the 5 days the boyfriend was back, I think we frequented Parkson and Starbucks almost everyday..

I like this picture of him :)

There was one night when we met up with Gala. Sayang picked me up from work and we headed to his place for some drinks.

Happy faces buahahhaa

I thought it tasted like detergent :/

More food.

The 5 days sure passed quickly. We practically spent every waking moment together but unfortunately, it still didn't seem enough. I guess this ritual will be going on for a year more before everything can settle for good. And a year may seem like a long time, but we decide to look the other way rather than the distance, I'm sure everything will turn out awesome. Its during times apart like these that I always start regretting how I took for granted the times when he was still 10 minutes away. Somehow, the distance brought us closer. :)

p/s:

Happy Birthday, Daddy.

Whatever

2009-12-03T06:45:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear
Take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before
And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal
But lately I'm beginning to find that I
Should be the one behind the wheel

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes yeah

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
I'll be there

So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive?
It's driven me before
And it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around
But lately I'm beginning to find that
When I drive myself my light is found

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes yeah

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
I'll be there

Would you choose water over wine
Hold the wheel and drive

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes yeah

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
I'll be there

Hello there.

2009-11-23T00:43:00.000-08:00

I'd like to think I'm special.

Despite the imperfections adorned on my skin, the awry decisions that I have made, the incorrect paths that I took - I still do what I think is best for me. Despite what you all might think. :)

Another farewell.

2009-11-18T23:28:00.000-08:00

I never got around to talk about my exam paper.

Well, I did my revision, prepared my notes. Spent the whole day studying in campus. When the time came, I left for the lecture hall.

Sunset, on the way to the exam hall.

The paper was okay. I was pretty pasrah a few hours before the exam, thinking that I had all the stuff I had in my head. You know that point where you can't read any more and everything else just whizzes you by, the words start dancing in front of your eyes? Yeah like that.

By the time the exam was done, it was already 9pm. Chin and I went for dinner with Adrienne and Beth. At Passion Corner again.

Passed out when I reached home..

As planned, we went for Texas finally!

Baby! He wanted to surprise me on his emergency business visit to Miri, but I somehow got emo about something on Saturday and he just went ahead and made my day! Hehe which explains why I was mia for a few days both on the blog and twitter. He left Tuesday morning..

Funny how after 2 years of knowing each other, we never took any picture together. This is our first :)

We were all forcing them smiles cos we were super super full from all the pork we ate! (sorry to some). Hahaha all in all, we had about 4 plates and more than 10 cans of chrysanthemum tee among the 4 of us. That was a very, very fulfilling dinner indeed. The company made it all the better.

So, Adrienne left yesterday.

There were actually a lot of people sending her off that day..

Right after this picture, she went and hugged everyone.. Unknowingly, Chin started sobbing. And seeing her sobbing made me tear. Lol, I guess I have been putting on hold the emotional downpour when I first told her how it sucked that all of them were leaving..

And we forgot to bring the tissues we kept reminding each other to bring days before.

Checking in her super heavy backpack.

Her flight got delayed for about an hour but I was too busy running around looking for my phone.

I made a police report, went to the police station, the sorts. But we all know how impossible everything seems from this point lol.

I'm already thinking of what phone should I buy hehe :P

!@#)*$@!&

2009-11-18T06:59:00.000-08:00

So I broke my mum's mug handle this morning.

ANNNND.

I lost my phone :(

Was at the airport where it happened. The time span from when I left the place for the departure hall to when I realised my phone was lost was approx 20 minutes. It takes 3 seconds to steal a phone so probably I'm putting too much high hope that the CCTV will catch something. Everyone says let it go, don't brood over it.. Can't help if I'm attached to it. Especially when its from the boyfriend and is storing so many messages and photos. Plus it'll be a hassle to get everyone's numbers again.

Oh well.
Maybe its a sign to get a new phone.

Heartwarming..

2009-11-17T23:40:00.000-08:00

I cried after reading everything..
It taught me that love can be so profound, so deepened, so complex.. and yet so simple.
This gives me hope..

Moments like these..

2009-11-13T21:00:00.000-08:00

If one day you find yourself wondering why I'm doing what I'm doing, just ask yourself what did you to make me react the way I did. I won't regret it and I sure hope you won't be too surprised. Now I truly know what chasing pavements mean.

Basking in our youths.

2009-11-10T17:11:00.000-08:00

I know I say this every end of the semester, but I can't help but lament on "ohemgee, its the end of another sem!".
I've got one more year to go and then, I wana be begone from this place I've called my home for the past 20 years. Can't wait to break free and start living my own life with no boundaries (or curfews, pfft).

I made it a point to keep in touch with the rest these few days. During the semester, I hardly spent time with them cos I had work and all that.

After dinner at the pork place in DPS, we headed for Round 2!

At Passion Corner in town.

Complimentary purple turtle jelly that came with our orders.

Ah Chin. We click cos we're born bitch-faces and can't help it lol. I got closer to here earlier this semester, after a few encounters. Since then, we've been hanging out. She's great cos sometimes she's my pillar of strength, and she's such a hard-headed girl who's been through so much and doesn't let things eat her up. She's like another big cheche to me.

You all know Adrienne. Yeah yeah, go lah. Leave us. hahaha
I met Adrienne during a production back in my first year. The experience was hilarious. Our group was a mix of the weirdest mix every. Then again, every Mass Comm student is weird in their own way. The mishap we had during the production still leaves us laughing all the time. She's also a DIY, interior design etc enthusiast, just like me!

Steamboat. Which was awesome. The last time I was there at Passion Corner was during my birthday with some guy buddies.

Sumit, who's one of the nicest guys I've met(besides boyfie, of course :P ).
Apparently Chelsea won against ManU the night before so he was parading around in his Chelsea jersey. Sum and I, we weren't close before. Just hibye friends. Its terrible how we only got to know each other closer now and they're all leaving already! They all asked me to stop being so emo though haha wtf.

I have a Tourism exam on Thursday, which is practically tomorrow.

With my partner in crime, Ah Chin, at Starbucks.

After 6 hours, 1 Toffee Nut Blended Coffee, 1 sandwich, 1 Caramel Chocolate Cake, I covered 5 topics in the form of mind maps. Then I went to work and was hit with a hugeee headache.
Guess thats what I get for not studying for the whole semester now I have to cram and memorize everything in 2 days.

I can't wait for it to be over and done with.

Geram on a Sunday night.

2009-11-07T21:34:00.000-08:00

/edit: So zee boyfriend said that everything Tyra said was true. Lol maybe I am biased cos I have monolids, I don't know. After much debate (lol), we concluded that we interpreted the video in different ways. As he put it "Its like we see a brown cat, you're arguing that its blue and I'm arguing that its red". HAHA I think that pretty much sums up for a lot of other things really.

So I was Youtubing for fun, and I came over this particular video while searching for makeup for monolids(which I am, duh). And I was like "Hey, I never watched a Tyra Banks series of her show before so why not?"

And I regretted it.

Why? Because she was so biased. And you have to watch the video to know what I am talking about. For someone as respectable as her, some of the things she said, and shot at that girl made my jaw drop and thought "poor her..".

Mind you, not Tyra. But the girl she was interviewing.

The stupidest, dumbest thing she said was that getting eyelid surgery was one step closer to looking like a Caucasian! W.t.f. I had the perception that she thought all Asians had monolids. Seriously? I can relate to the girl because it is true, when you have monolids, you tend to look sleepier (cos bigger eyes look brighter, more energetic) and the excess skin just sags over your eye, pushing down your lashes no matter how curly they are.

If everyone was to embrace whatever they have on their face, they'd be no lengthening/volumnizing mascara that promises that extra oomph, eyeliners or silver eyeshadow to "open up" your eyes. Those are all products to make your eyes look more noticeable and "open" anyways. So using eyeliner makes us want to look like Cleopatra and dolly eyes like Taiwanese girls eh?

Sure, she compared herself to the girl. Yes, she has the weave and she owns up to it (the applause audience gave during that moment infuriated me more). But the girl was no model, she doesn't have to prance around in beautiful lingerie and meet the press everyday so of course, she doesn't need any weave. So there shouldn't be any comparison really. Cos Tyra and the girl live totally different lives.

Even more ridiculous, Tyra interviewed the girl's boyfriend. Look at the supertext.

Steve
"doesnt believe girlfriend needed surgery".

This only pushed to emphasize on the point that Tyra didn't agree that the girl had to undergo the surgery. But if you listened properly, the guy did say that he didn't mind cos he thought she was pretty either way. I'm a media student, so I know even simple things such as supertexts can alter perspectives really drastically.

Why couldn't they have put..
"Boyfriend supported girlfriend through surgery.."
or
"Boyfriend thought (girl's name) looked pretty either way.."

I thought this episode was really, really stupid. Now I have a whole different view towards this show, emmy award or not. Pfft.

Too cute to miss!

2009-11-07T11:13:00.000-08:00

I dont care if it screws my blog layout. Why? Refer to post title. haha

Ughhhh

2009-11-07T11:09:00.000-08:00

I was cleaning my mess of a room yesterday and I took 2 hours alone to transfer from the clothes all over my bed into my cupboard. Yes, it looked like a typhoon hit my side of the room only. My cupboard is bursting, I'm running out of hangers and I'm ashamed to say I am awaiting more parcels to come in. Probably 5 by the end of next week. Thing about parcels is I come home and feel like a little kid opening them and all, anticipation and excitement when the apparel fits perfectly included.
I really got to stop this. /slams head against the wall.

On a different note, the sister and best friend will be back next week! Those are bigger parcels. Lol maybe I can open them up too hahaha wtf

One after the other.

2009-11-06T14:07:00.000-08:00

On the 24th last month, I headed out with the bunch of girls and we had dinner at Soho.

Sanshan and King. King left after a little while, after having a long day from golf, I think. Not really close to him, but I knew him from Jon, zee ex. lol

Sanshan with Joanne. Sorry about your eye, Shan.

Sonia and I. My hand looks cacat haha.

Foo Hua and Pris. Awww, he thought she was talking too much so he insisted on feeding her. Then some people from another table started laughing out loud. Sonia said maybe the girlfriend was asking her boyfriend why he doesn't feed her the way Foo Hua was feeding Pris. Lol. I was quite of a jealous fool of them that night.

My favorite from the lot, taken by Pris' camera. Looking forward to the next dinner. Don't be too confident Sonia, the bet is not over yet. Hahaha

Along the way, I also helped Adrienne with the Halloween Party at GCM.

The spiders they spent endless hours doing. They all did an awesome job. Too bad I was too grounded to attend the after-party AND the mass comm party pfffft. Long story la.

Speaking of Adrienne, she's leaving soon :(

Adorable Adrienne. Haha
Wednesday, we went to Zaika (my first trip there) for some Indian food. I'm in love with the nan and tandoori yum.

When you put 4 girls together, we can't help but talk. We started talking and laughing out loud when this girl rolled her eyes at us. What the hell, if you don't want to listen to what we're talking about then why are you eavesdropping ey? She kept making gestures at us, telling her other friend and I just stared at her. Wtf I hate people like that. Who think they're above all that, to roll their eyes at our etiquette in the public. If she hates noisy people (we can't help it), and thinks we shouldn't be doing that, then go dine somewhere else where she might not bump into someone other people's behaviour she can't tolerate. Why not book the whole place to herself at the same time? Seriously stupid.

Was pretty tempted to shoot some bitchy comment at her, but Chin and I both stopped talking for a bit. Then Chin was like "Aiya, the people behind me la!" quite loudly. Lol, I love my bitchy friends.

I'll miss Adrienne thats for sure. We had many memories during production and off campus times. When she clears her schedule to meet everyone else, we're heading for Texas.
/evil laugh.

The anger, it seeps out.

2009-10-27T18:30:00.001-07:00

I thought what I did could have struck a chord somehow. But you're still back to your manipulative self. Only this time - same shit, different people. How people treat you is just a reflection on how you've been treating those around you. By far, you're the first person I've seen to have karma turnaround and smack you in the face so fast. You're a hard nut to crack, because you're so foolishly stubborn. Some day, I hope, that when you do realize all the wrong you've been doing, there'll be nobody to lend you that shoulder, which you pushed away yourself in the first place.

This is the part I warned you about.

2009-10-26T16:19:00.000-07:00

ImissyouandithurtssosomuchIdontknowifthisisnormalbutIhaventhadit
inawhileIfeelsoalonesolostIjustwanttoshutmyeyesopenthemtofindyou
BetweenthemorningraysthecomfortofgraysheetsIwanttofeelthewarmth
inyourarmsthescentofyourbreathIwanttowalkhandinhandandgetlost
withyouinthecityPartofmeisnothereeverythingisabluritssadIwanttobe
nextyourighthererightathismomentImafoolthatwouldneverchange
Afoolthatwillneverunderstandorcomprehendthelogicbetweenthis
madnessThefeelings areoverwhelmingandImslowlylosingcontrol
Ican'tbreatheIwantyouNownownow

Tag in a long time.

2009-10-25T01:02:00.000-07:00

I was randomly browsing through missroum's blog before church this morning and found out that she tagged me with a confession tag. Seeing that I'm easing my eyes from the puny tiny words in the book I'm ready, I shall do this hehe.

1. I have this constant concious voice talking in my head whenever I look into the mirror. It'll always be "You look fat in that outfit", "Your pores are so visible", "Your boobs look flat in that top", "Your hair is full of split ends". I think this is a crevice in my self-esteem that I have deemed useless a looooong time ago. But it's always there. I don't know. I find imperfections in myself to pick on. Like how I didn't inherit my mum's well-endowed chest, my knees are dark, I have scaly skin and the list goes on.

2. I am a compulsive, impulsive shopper. I have the tendency to spend all my money to my last dime just because. I have a habit of scouring through review blogshops, and *poof* hundreds would disappear for pieces of clothings that I'd probably would never wear in the first place and have to resell. I need money management.

3. I think I am a loner. I don't have proper friends. But I have a great logic behind it LOL you can ask me personally if you want.

4. I am not talented in anything in particular or whatsoever. Not in drawing though I doodle. Not in baking cos sometimes it burns. Not in sewing cos I always break the needles. Not in dancing cos I haven't got no knack of rhythm. I just don't have a flair for anything. Do I hear "Oh yes, you are just average."?

5. I am extremely negative at times. Did you guess? Hahaha

Bakapades and more.

2009-10-24T00:39:00.000-07:00

So this is what I have been doing for the past week.

:D

My aunt needed some extra help at her nursery so I popped by a few hours every morning just to play with the kids, accompany them to watch Barney, change their diapers, feed them etc.
I like it when babies nua at me, want me to carry them or something like that. Hehehe, makes me feel loved! I went home everyday with porridge stains on my jeans.

And then, baking!
What else?

Cookie Dough Brownies!

The person whom I got the recipe from, her brownies looked nicer. I think I used the wrong pan. The cookie dough at the top is oooookay la. Hahaha, I shouldn't have put so much. But the brownies at the bottom rock my socks. No wonder its her staple brownie recipe.

So, today's our monthsary :)
I love you, baby.

The thing about long distance relationships is.. well, things start to get strained and everything will feel wrong. Small squabbles get blown out of proportion, and sometimes the feeling of missing each other gets so overwhelming that you don't know what to do with it.
I fell off the track, but something happened and I got back on, remembering what the big picture is and will be.

To many more years to come, my love <3

Reality hit

2009-10-21T21:10:00.000-07:00

I've grown so accustomed with meeting everyone's expectations that I failed to see what I wanted for myself. Finally, when I can't be fucked about what people want, I'm thrown into a sphere so foreign.. unfamiliar. I feel so lost. I feel like I'm floating around in a bubble, watching time and people past but I still don't know what's going on.
Time to get back on track.
I'm living life for me now.

To-do list.

2009-10-18T06:53:00.000-07:00

I think I'm going through a very euphoric moment in life lol I don't even know where to begin and explain gah I'm not making sense.
But, despite them happy moments, I have been neglecting and procrastinating with a lot of things :P

1. MUST work on assignments. Semester is finishing up soon.
2. Save up for Lumix, year-end trip, New Year trip, pre-CNY shopping (fuhh macam a lot!)
3. Clean my bed after exams.
4. (finally) Get around to sell my old clothes and others in between, preloved and not.
5. Do more DIY.
6. Spend more girlfriend time.
7. Workout more (HAHAHAHA you guys believe me, right?)

That's about it, I guess.
I have so much awesome stuff lined up in my life and its great! This is not some fake-smile-oh-im-so-lucky-in-life kinda thing cos I'm delusional. This is for real.

And though some of my plans may in the distant future.. well, it keeps me going :D

Yum yum tum tum nyum nyum.

2009-10-14T05:57:00.000-07:00

Slowed my car to 20km/h just to get this picture. I'm a sucker for pretty clouds XD

Life has been treating me good, no complains here. I realized that its pretty dumb when people have better than average lives yet they'll look for a miniscule problem to pinpoint on and then moan/groan about it. I was guilty of that, but I've grown to understand just how lucky I am.

I skipped class(so what's new?) this afternoon and surfed websites for lotsa recipes.
So I decided to make Chocolate Self-Saucing Pudding.

When it first came out, I was like shit why does it look like a lump of turd. How the hell was I going to finish it cos my mum would definitely scold me for wasting her flour and all sorts(which I bought in the first place anyways) lol.

But little did I know!

It tasted fucking awesome, pardon the picture. The seemingly uncooked parts are the sauce and its a teeny wee bit sickeningly sweet but I'm sure I can sort that out for future bakes. The caramelized top adds a different flavour to the chocolate.

Eating it as I'm typing.. hehe yes I am a glutton.

Mum kept muttering "ee so sweet. too sweet eee" but she polished everything off her bowl anyways! :P

Got the recipe here..
Any of you baking enthusiasts should try it out!

Morning fix

2009-10-13T18:57:00.000-07:00

I listen more to loud music, but something calming once in a while won't hurt.

This tugged at me.

2009-10-07T21:25:00.000-07:00

" I was like a lost moon - my planet destroyed in some cataclysmic, disaster-movie scenario of desolation - that continued, nevertheless, to circle in a tight little orbit around the empty space left behind, ignoring the laws of gravity."'

Prom'09

2009-10-07T21:00:00.000-07:00

I know I have been MIA for crazy donkey time, often neglecting my blog. I've been pretty much keeping away from lotsa things, people included and I don't know. I think I'm sieving my life somehow. But if you follow my Twitter, you can tell I'm very much alive and am still kicking ass. lol

So yes, this year's prom was Stars of Romance.
How does one look romantic? Hahaha okay.

Our table was very close to the stage.

I really have to be grateful for SanShan and Sonia, who accompanied me throughout the whole preparation process. Gave me comments about how I should do my hair and everything. Really made this whole prom a lot more memorable.

Phebe and I. We all thought she was smokin'. Hahaha

Kovui and Joanne.
We met a lot of familiar faces that night. Then again, duh, Curtin is a small community.

Shannon's hair was cool. Haha I don't think he knew the extent of greeness in his hair cos when I showed him the picture, he went "Are you serious? That's how it really looks like?!" Hahaha
Some of us dateless people were just sitting outside having some chitchats.

Lau and Bowie. =)

Yeap, it was all good this year =)

I didn't go for the afterparty although a few asked me to. I found out some of my old highschool mates went too.. I heard it was cool, but I also found out there were some bad parts too. Thats the thing about booze parties. People tend to go wayyy out of control sometimes..

There'll be more pictures in my Facebook. When I upload them hehe..

Looking forward to next year's prom though =)
Can't believe it'll be my last..

Its complicated when I make it.

2009-09-27T21:31:00.000-07:00

Even if it means my half an hour of cardio just went down the drain.

:)))))))

Choo choo, coming through.

2009-09-27T16:40:00.000-07:00

(taken from ache)

Where do unmade dreams go?

You know. Those dreams that you always linger your thoughts in, the ones that peep at you from the corners of your mind. The ones that often leave you smiling at the end of it.

We're always piling these dreams up. Like a skyscraper.

Started with one single brick of hope. Then you build it as you go along - happy with the outcome, discarding bricks that do not go along with that dream.

What happens when something, or someone.. comes along and knock it all off without your consent? And that something or someone leaves you falling and falling..
Like that nightmare where you just keep falling and you always force yourself to wake up.
Only this time, you can't force yourself to wake up. You keep falling and fall right in your face on the cold, concrete floor.

Do you build that dream again?

Or do you, like many others.. tuck it in a pocket, zip it up to never be opened again?
Like a corked bottle you leave floating in the sea.
Like a balloon that flew with your once upon a dream so high to the sky, it slowly fades into a speck in the galaxy.

Maybe that's how stars are made.

I've finally come to realize.. just how fragile my life is. All this while, I put a brave front but all along it was a facade to hide my fears. I have had several conquers in my life, none that I can even remember now that I think about it. Nothing to "Oh, I've ...," or "Hey, you know what? I've accomplished..".

That's how life is always measured, isn't it? Through accomplishments. How far one has gone through, the shit and all that gore in between.

Just when I thought I was going through the prime of my life, I take a turn and hit against a wall so hard it knocked me down. What I thought was right, was actually wrong.

I hate this train of thought.
This sense of.. longing I have hovering my head. Its killing me..

I hope it'll be over before my week starts.

And I found this mind-provoking.

2009-09-26T06:44:00.000-07:00

Found this on Adrienne's Facebook.

"My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer," the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky.
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams."

- The Alchemist

I found this cute.

2009-09-25T23:16:00.001-07:00

Listen to this.

Calming.

Take a pick.

2009-09-25T04:16:00.000-07:00

You often hear them say,

"My heart is weak, but my mind is strong."
or
"My mind is weak, but my heart is strong."

I wonder which category I fall into..

Back to reality.

2009-09-24T22:28:00.000-07:00

Gotta find a way
Yeah, I can't wait another day
And nothin' gonna change
If we stay around here

Gotta do what it takes
Cause it's all in our hands
We all make mistakes, yeah
But it's never to late to start again
Take another breath
And say another prayer

Then fly away from here
Anywhere
Yeah, I don't care
We'll just fly away from here
Our hopes and dreams are out there somewhere
Won't let time pass us by

We'll just fly..

**************************

Its time to clear the clutter. And contrary to many's belief, there ain't much broken pieces to pick up anyways.
This time, I throw away the things and people I don't need. It sounds like a bitchy and selfish act, but I truly believe this is something that I need to do.
You see, I'm chasing the bigger picture now, and whatever comes in between that.. can go fuck itself and die. Lol

There are very few people in life whom I call my best friends. There are some I may talktalk to but it might also mean nothing. I don't know, what I do don't make sense anymore. I miss the people who really know who I am, and understands what it is I want from life and all this. And these are the people that will stick by me no matter what, bitchy comments included (yes, I mean you Daph).

I know, I'm a joke at times. People find it funny when I make stupid jokes that cross my mind and I let it slip so easily. But I'm tired of that. You people think I'm here for company, for laughs like I'm some fool in a jester hat? Nosireeee, that's not gonna happen no more.
I'll say no when I want and comment what I deem fit.

It's time for a good change.
Bring it on :)

p/s: Today happens to be the birthday of someone who means a lot to me. Happy Birthday! =) *hugss

Accidental break

2009-09-17T03:31:00.000-07:00

I know I have not been updating a lot. The sudden drop in the internet nowadays really dampened all my uh.. online activities. Opening mails are so difficult and that can get really annoying. It's worse even in campus.

So, AppleBox Pictures (the only club I signed up for in campus and I'm the secretary for) had its event for this semester, which was initially conducted by the Photography club before they merged with us. Fuh, long sentence.

Several students were invited to become models for the day and photography enthusiasts had the chance to uh, work around their thangs and learn proper portrait photography that day.

I would say, the event went on pretty well. Quite a lot of people turned up and I don't know how to put this but, none of the media students attended the event.

Hahaha. It has actually dawned upon me that majority of the people I know.. that own SLR cameras or that lot, are not people studying photography or media at all.

I think those high-tech cameras are really cool and all. But they're so bulky and not travel-friendly. Its slowly becoming a trend, teenagers bringing it around like some accessory but hey, I'm not condoning those who have it. I'm just saying more and more people have it.

Its great seeing how some people are really pushing it to pursue their passion for photography. And I met lotsa people, both students from engineering and commerce who love taking photos.

On a totally different note, am I the only media student who thinks that after years of going through the course, we start to realise that media is a very manipulative and cunning medium?

Like my friend put it..
"We all learn and find out that media is evil. We're studying media.
Does that make us followers of evil?"

Haha :P

Escapism

2009-09-09T22:04:00.000-07:00

One of those nights, when I needed to just be away from home, I went out with some friends..
Got some belated birthday gifts.. lol

My buddy, Geof and his girlfriend are running a business of selling Taiwan masks. They're cheap, and are not like the jackuped priced masks sold in town. If you're interested, you can contact me anytime =)

I've been cooped up at home, mostly. I hate being out nowadays, I don't see the point in it.
Been skipping classes, been brushing off questions.

Escape, run away, duck, run some more.

That's what has been running through my mind over and over again.
Memories lingering, so many etched at the corner of my head.
Every corner I took, every road I drove - there, everywhere.

I once built my defenses high,
Someone came along and took it down with a sigh.

Time to get my hands dirty and build them up again, baby.
Tears aren't going to solve my problems.

Move along..

2009-09-05T20:50:00.000-07:00

I have so much to do! It seems that time is running out. =/
Yet I find every reason in me to just laze yesterday.

What did I do yesterday?
I woke up, brought my sister to tuition.
Was online the whole time.
Went on a car ride with the abang Geoffery.. twas liberating.
Came home.
Nap.
Chendol.
Work.
Home.
Skype.

See? I even got lazy to describe what I did.

I am not all useless and hopeless, don't worry.
I have some plans tucked in my pocket but they all include crazy amounts of money so of course, still gotta consider properly before I make up my mind.

The days are surprisingly passing by faster than I thought.
I can't believe its been 2 weeks since. But I'm glad for the moment.
It's all a blur, really.
I can't wait to get away from here, even just for a bit.

Hohum..

2009-09-02T05:30:00.000-07:00

Word by word.

Guess who just got Twitter?
Its pretty addictive, I must say.

Okay, imma get back to my book review now. :P

Scars remind us that the past is real.

2009-08-31T19:43:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry for the semi-hiatus last week. It all passed in a blur, a flurry of many things.

If some of you came here for a reason why. Sorry, haha you won't understand :P
Concerns best kept subtle kthanksshoo.

Btw, Happy Independence Day!
I'm not a very patriotic person but yeah.

I actually followed the others for that countdown thingy after the meeting at Starbucks.
I went home then casually asked my dad if he let me go and surprisingly he did. After a mini lecture, of course :P

This is us at Al Fresco. Picture obviously taken from Joanne's blog =)
The countdown was there. There were people lingering around, some drinking, some playing pool. Then, we headed to Island cos Al Fresco was just so packed.

The night ended pretty early and I was pretty tired la. I didn't even drink!

Anyways, I just finished my two assignments that are due today. Printed them out and I'm almost good to go. Only I haven't bathe and well, my class is at 430pm.
Have another assignment due on Friday (extended, phew) and I'm relieved my mid-term is only next week. I was gonna rush for everything last week but due to unforeseen circumstances hahaha, I only got them done yesterday and today.

Did anyone hear that thunder last night?
I hate thunder :(

You know what's terrible?

2009-08-28T17:47:00.000-07:00

Terrible is not having a proper meal during the week and when you actually do eat, you wake up at 3am to puke your dinner and bile out.

That is terrible to me.

如何？

2009-08-26T23:30:00.000-07:00

为什么都有点怪怪的？

送的。。
给的。。
想的。。
说的。。
我全都做給你啦。。

这两年，对你。。你的心。。有什么意思吗？

算了吧。

你快乐就好。。

The fight

2009-08-21T22:12:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't been going around cos my "P" license has expired.. and mummy is too paranoid to even let me send the younger sister to tuition, even if its just around the corner.
I even had to sneak to Boulevard yesterday, and I just stay 5 minutes away from the mall.

Yesterday, Chin and I went to this talk at Marriott Hotel for our Tourism Management class..
The GM of Marriott conducted the talk and boy was he, hehehe, charming. /swoonssss

Doesn't this just scream HEAVENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. /le sigh.
Take a good look at this picture, boyfriend!

I'd own one of this!

We even had the privilege to visit the Royal Suite of Marriott. It was praised as one of its kind, top notch, filled with the finest products they have.
But I found it rather, blah.

One thing about the talk that irked me was.. well, the people who attended it.
I know some people are damn hardworking and all, but I spotted a girl who brought her lecture notes to the talk -_-", and some were taking notes when the GM was sharing his personal experiences in the hospitality industry. Weird, much?

AND THEN, during the tour. They took every picture of everything, in every corner, in every flat surface and god forbid, every reflective surfaces too (note:mirrors = camwhore).

Anywehs, I woke up feeling pretty sour this morning, so I made breakfast.

Yes, this is what Belinda does when she wakes up at 7.20am on a Saturday morning.

Sometimes, you just gotta vent out your frustration in other ways just so it'd work. For me, its baking/dancing/cooking etc.
Its weird, when you don't know what battle you're fighting for, you know? When the other side, the walls are built up so high you can't even catch a glimpse.

Don't worry, the boyfriend and I are fine.
In fact,

You know, I'm risking my life just putting this..but..

One week, one week!!!!!!
My he-longs-to-be-a-vagina-all-his-life-but-operations-are-too-expensive-so-he-just-uses-a-bolster boyfriend is coming back in a week!
I haven't seen the bugger for 3 torturing months!

Can't wait to see my favourite vejayjay :P

Drops of jupiter

2009-08-14T22:04:00.000-07:00

Hellooo. If you're asking, yes I think I am losing the will to blog. I spend almost from morning to evening in campus on weekdays, and on weekends I just can't be arsed to come online and strain my eyes. Well, I do come online to check my mail, read blogs and everything in between.

I'm currently addicted to
1. Fmylife
2. MyMilkToof (I'm addicted to its cuteness!)

Then, I'm also baking on weekends..

A few weekends ago, I toyed with a recipe given by Ju's younger sister for a chocolate mug. For the following weekends, I tried to work it out. The picture was last week's.

Today's was perfect. Reminds me of the Lava Cake from Soho.. YUMM
Plus, it only takes 15 minutes to make, 1 plus minute to cook.
Mum calls it the Quickie Chocolate Mug Cake! Kinky..

A picture to sum my days in campus.

Sigh, sometimes I get so speechless with the things thrown at me lol.

On Wednesday night, I went for supper with Moses and someone I haven't met for 2 years,

Terry! =) He may look all mean, haggard but he has a good heart.
He hasn't had his 20th birthday yet but he's already bought 2 cars and is paying his way to Perth next year. And get this, he doesn't even own a diploma..yet.
He IS mean, no.. not someone you would wana taunt with but I get away with all the bitchy comments cos I'm his "good friend" unquote. LOL

Walking with them makes me all nostalgic about the good old Form 5 days where the guys would all walk beside me, despite them calling me as "one of the guys", sneering at the looks other people gave me (I was called a slut in high school wtf), they protected me a lot.

Through heartbreaks and bitchy moments, they told me to fuckitttt and I guess that attitude still stays with me till now. I miss them all la, really. Eventhough they used to use the ruler(especially Geof) to poke my bra strap or boxed my arm, asking me to "man it up!" wtf.

Them, talking about something funny.
Its good to know everyone is good, having their own ways, albeit us not keeping in touch like we all promised we would :(
But a reunion is in place. Terry said whoever goes against his plannings will be whooped hahaha

On another note, I can't wait to get my Egyptian Magic Cream!
I hope it'll clear my pores, the cant-be-seen-bumps-but-memang-there and definitely even my skintone. I heard so many reviews from people who've used them and thank god to Shan who let me in that she's getting hers.

If you know my skin (hell, I don't even know) my skin is the type where it takes the hardest to take effect on. I swear, only about 1/4 of the products I've used in my lifetime actually worked.
My skin is VERY uneven so someone, please let me know if you know some whitening products that works on stubborn skin kthxbyeeeeeeee

Shadow smiles, secrets unrevealed.

2009-08-08T19:37:00.000-07:00

The house is undergoing lockdown as we speak, now that the haze is getting pretty bad. According to Borneo Post, we are at.. an unhealthy API reading. Hence the tonnes of headaches I've been getting and you know what's the bummer? Panadol doesn't work on me -_-"

I found an extra cardreader at homeeee.

Things I drew on our bottle caps so we won't get mixed up. Ironic how a few days after I drew this, Bas really left for KK.

Bassssss. Its both a shame and pity that I only got to know her better on her last semester. When I first saw their whole group when I first entered Curtin, she came off as well, bitchy..lol. But yeah, she's actually really funny and far more mature than some people we know :P

She came to see us in campus before her flight! I think we all had to hold back our feelings cos she was already tearing up a bit. Ngar, we actually threatened her to come back to visit us every once in a while.

And oh, I got my belated birthday present from Ju and ChinChin yeay! Chin had to send it all the way from KL and it arrived through Poslaju.

"Eh Bel, help me open that package ah".
Hahaha, very subtle, Ju.

TADAH! The Holy Grail for us humans with stubborn eyelashes. You know, if my eyelashes were little dicks, they would be infertile. Nothing turns them on, I swear! Haha ok out of topic :P

Yes, about time people know AYAM ZEE BESSST!

Thennn, it was Dinesh's farewell party.
He's known for his porn stash, his bedroom we all used to bunk in, his FUCKOFFFFF and WATAFUCKKKK hahaha miss him la.

We had dinner at Sajian Warisan. It was yummmmmmmmy.

Group picture!

He then gave a speech to everyone and it was a really sad moment. Gosh, I've been dealing with a few but too much goodbyes lately. But I'm sure, if everyone makes the effort, we'd all still get to keep in touch next time..

Now, to something more recent (ahpuu I'm really bad at digressing from event to another event).
I went to Sushi King with Sonia and Flora.

We're all planning to go prom together so we were looking around for clothes, designs, textiles.. but we have no idea about the theme yet so we were like blind cows for a bit hahaha.
But it was a nice outing la, it being us hanging out for the first time and all =)

Eyegasm

2009-08-07T07:42:00.000-07:00

Since I can't upload the pictures from my camera.. let me show you what I do online =)

Aish

2009-07-31T20:05:00.000-07:00

I can't find my wazzatthing.. CARD READER!
Which ultimately means I can't upload pictures from my camera to the computer.
Have a few events to update about : Bas leaving, Dinesh's farewell, my belated bday present from the friends, the babies' new mansion lol.

Life has been okay. Classes are good.
Some lecturers are still a drag, its amazing how they get paid such a high amount for babbling on for 2 hours. Unproductive! I thought media classes are supposed to be up and about and all fun. Pfft. Gotta sort out my tutorials soon because I haven't registered for any. LOL, talk about slacking.

Till I find my card reader, pluck ur armpit hair! HAHAAH /inside joke

Speechless.

2009-07-26T01:36:00.000-07:00

I just heard the news today.

I thought I heard wrongly on the radio, came home to confirm it. *Click*

The nation lost a figure who greatly fought for and continuously contributed to the growth of media in Malaysia.
It is truly, truly.. a painful loss.

Noone tells a story quite like her, the way she so strongly triggers your emotions and makes your heart twist. She is truly one of a kind, and I cannot express the weight of regret; that I've never really introduced my favorite storyteller to you all.

Know that you've touched a lot of hearts, including mine; with your heartfelt work and endless inspirational whims.
Rest in peace.

And she says..

2009-07-24T02:45:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes, being a bitch is all a woman has to hold unto.."

Well, according to Dolores Claiborne, that is.
Uh, Stephen King, ring a bell?

Well, her statement is true, to a very high extent, and I stand by it strongly. No girl is protected thoroughly with what she believes in. It changes through the course of time, and through time, well I'm sure you all know, people change with that, too.

I find it nothing wrong that I'm so guarded towards certain people nowadays. I know its bad to filter the people around you but you better know that I filter people that don't mean shit to me. So many times it cracks me up watching people buckle the way they do(not that I don't, don't get me wrong) but you know, its just funny when you've known the person from day one.
When they weren't like that.
When they didn't act that certain way.

Maybe its a change for the better, you think.

But nahhhh, some cases just don't apply.
Cos well, ,you know.. Good changes don't involve high doses of stupidity =/

I can't believe time's almost up.

2009-07-14T05:09:00.000-07:00

The lack of updates has been due to.. uh. Nothing, really. I've been about, going to and fro campus at times to edit stuff for the screening. Contrary to what people believe, I'm not sucking up to the lecturers nor am I trying to become the teacher's pet. So, don't simply think lah k peace.

I've been also trying to avoid the internet A LOT.
I check my mail, go through Facebook a bit, gutter, fml and thats it. Then I go ahead and read. Yeap, reading books used to be my favorite pastime.. then well, Joe came along and I just hung out with him more :P
So, now he's there, I can find my inner bookworm again.

And oh, I finally baked the cake I wanted.
Simple recipe, really.

It didn't come out as good. I think I put in an inappropriate pan thats why the top was all black :(
The texture was a bit too dry for my liking, which is why I always avoided baking my cakes. The taste of the Bailey's didn't seem sufficient, too.
Imma try to adjust the recipe again when I have time. Give and take some ingredients.

Bas' cute puppies! Not to mention, super hyper. Twas a bad idea to go and play with them when I had shorts on. Hahaha I bet the others had a blast looking at me squeal when it jumped on me.

Lab currently under lockdown due to termites. Then again, I'm going to campus again to edit cos I gotta show my lecturer the finished stuff on Friday afternoon ngarrrrrr.
I'm beginning to like editing and all that but I doubt I'd get into the editing field when I'm done with my degree. The hours ain't all that great for someone who loves my sleep =D

On a totally random note..

I hate the colors on the building!
Whattheeff were they thinking?!

And I ponder.

2009-07-11T00:06:00.000-07:00

I, I don't know why I miss you so much
Yeah I, I don't know why I still feel your touch
You, you left me feeling high and dry
With nothing, nothing but the question why

Yeah you, I guess you had another direction
And leaving me with nothing but a dead connection

If you call me today
I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless

You, you knew what you were doing to me
And I, I guess I was too blind to see
Well you hit where it hurt and you fooled me so bad
But I'd do it again to relive what we had
(Damn that's sad)

There are many things left to remind me
Of a love that I just can't leave behind me.

Do we really want to walk down that road again?

Lalalalaloveeee

2009-07-08T03:19:00.000-07:00

I am aliveeeeeeeee!

I am also..

1. pretty contented with my results. Parents are happy too.

2. grateful that I am with my boyfriend and how awesome things are going for us.

3. amazed that Rain(my love) turned down a dinner date from Megan Fox - according to GutterUncensored (don't judge me hmpf)

Can't help it if he's so hot.

Here's proof.

/swoons.

On another note, this is my 642nd post in this blog wheee!

Yes, tis a happy day!

To amuse myself pt.3

2009-07-06T00:17:00.000-07:00

Wow, I really should start a whole series of posts that starts with "To amuse myself pt.(n)". Haha

Anyways, after much coveting for this little something, something for a few months..

I finally got this little baby..

Angel Wings from SoakRepublic..

I paid for it last week, mind you, and it just arrived in the mail this morning. The postman asked why I wasn't at work.. cos I'm always at home!
I'm not much of a jewelry person.. I only always have just my watch on. I have a few pieces here and there, but never much as a piece for daily use. But I guess this one can be an exception.. =)

So, I went ahead and cleaned my room to start of my Project Shopping Ban (PSB) lol

That's my messy bed and my closet on the right. Yeah its a mess.. My mum tells me my room is as messy as a boy's and I get it from my dad. Its almost as equally messy on Anne's side of the room, which she blames me for and I quote "I look at your side of the room and think, whats the point?"

Yeah, not something to be proud of.

It took me 2 hours just to clean my closet alone. I didn't think twice and just took out all the clothes that I thought I'd never wear or wear again. I have some pretty new stuff there, without their tags, of course. I have the tendency to cut off the tags once I get home =)

Okehs, gotta go sew some clothes now ciao!

I've got a confession to make.

2009-07-05T05:54:00.000-07:00

So, Moses and the others wanted to meet me up for my birthday for lunch but we all know what happened on my birthday right =/
We finally met up over lunch at this steamboat place near Minda area, Passion Corner.

Quaint little place, very secluded. My first time there =)
Wonder why I never noticed that place before. I think its that bamboo place Abby talked about in her blog.

They had little notes left by previous customers all over this black board. Fu Yii, Victor and I tried to read it when Moses went to the loo. Most of them were in Chinese "BaoBei I'll always love you" that sorta shit if you get me.

We then headed to Ice City to meet up with Diana =)

My BlackForest shaved ice. Twas yummy.

Group picture! Fu Yii, Momo, Diana and I.

Okehs, regarding the blog post topic.

This is my confession.

I have a spending problem.

Okay, okay. I know some of you are snickering, going all "HAH! I KNEW IT!" but hell, you people have no idea the extremity of it.
Let's just say my ban account is in risk of growing spider webs anytime soon. And its nothing to be proud of, I kid you not.

I find every reason there is to shop.
I shop to make myself happy. I shop when I'm sad. I shop when I'm bored. But at least, a little credit to myself, I am spending my own money, that I worked for and earned in return, so my spending can never be used to accuse me of a spoilt little brat.

Sooooo what I'm trying to get to is.

I'm going on another shopping ban. Note : another.

There has been 1 successful shopping ban, to date. But this time I seriously gotta put a hold towards how I handle my money cos its flowing out of my hands so easily /heart secretly bleeds.
So tomorrow, I'm going to clean my room, rearrange my closet, take out all the clothes I do not want, take pictures and put it online to sell. I'm sure there are some stuff that I've only worn once, twice and thats it. So it's such a waste.

Doubt any of you would be interested in my clothes though.

This should be my last purchase before the ban. A grey military jacket from Elise =D It was only RM69 after the RM20 voucher from some skincare I bought 20 minutes before that and well yeah, you do the maths.
And I finally wore my high-waisted skirt out! well, my first high waisted anything. This skirt has a military feel to it I was so tempted to salute my dad when I came down this morning.

Alright. No more skincare, makeup, clothes for 2 months. /stern.

Please support me in this. I wanna travel end of next year =D
I CAN DO THISSSSSSSSS!

The aftermath.

2009-07-01T20:36:00.000-07:00

I've finished the 4th book of the Private series! Gosh, I wonder why don't they take the contract and make into like the Gossip Girls, only this one is more mysterious and dramatic.

The whole family, unfortunately, had to self-quarantine ourselves to get better yesterday. No, we don't have H1N1.
Funnily enough, each of us had something different to drive us to be bed-ridden, porridge-for-3-meals-eating and H20 freaks for the day.

Luckily, I had little things to cheer me up.
Two different Poslaju men came, with 4 different packages. Another one this morning.
/slaps hands in excitement. :P I can't believe the amount of stuff I buy on the internet sometimes. I'm sure the poslaju men have remembered the route to my place already.

I miss the boyfriend. =)
Its so much easier to fight for things you believe in sometimes, rather than headbutt into something then it goes haywire.
Cheers to love! /sappy

ps: Fine, if you're curious. I lost 1 kg. stupssssss

This shouldn't happen, no

2009-06-30T03:36:00.000-07:00

Question: What's the worst thing that can happen on my birthday?

Answer :

Being couch-ridden with a pillow held on tight to your tummy for a moment, then the next; having your head next to the porcelain seat, puking your eyes out.
I have zee food poisoning, fml.

I wonder if this is God's funny way of fulfilling my wish to lose weight. =/

Light my fireeeeee

2009-06-29T20:24:00.000-07:00

So, I attended this talk for self-directed learning in children (omg I sound so maternal) over the weekend. It was pretty cool, beneficial, enlightening and all that jazz. I lap children :D

The talker was Dr Adeline Wong, the woman in black, whom I find a pretty entertaining speaker, that is if you catch her jokes at times =)

I also met up with a long-lost friend..

Crazy girl made me meet her up at the basketball court near my place (my 1st time there, hmm how come so many firsts are being cancelled from the list hmm).

Then we went for dinner at Siamese!

Pizza with loads of Tabasco sauce was gooood.
Catching up was great, too. Rabbit holes here and there, lol.

Sunday came.
Anne and I have been celebrating our birthdays since we were very young. Being it only 3 days apart, we used to have those birthday parties at McD with little kids running around playing games and paper hats on their heads, yeah that was us =D

But along the years, we kinda just celebrated apart with our friends, sometimes making time for the obligatory dinner and cake-cutting hooha with the family.
This year, it was at Nikko's.

Yeah, thats me laughing like a maniac on the left..

Dinner was good, but this year I volunteered to bake my own birthday cake =)
It'll be.. Baileys-flavored! HAHAHAHA

Oh, and as a treat to myself,

The collection is complete! *rah rah rah rahhhh

Oklah, one book missing. Iz okeh.

I'm finally stepping into the 2- threshold tomorrow.
I don't know if I should be depressed or something. Lol